Regret of what I've done

It has been a long time since I update my blog. Having holidays now, it should be a great thing to me, but I seems like can't feel any happiness from it... I can play Maple everyday, I don't have to study and face all those stupid notes... But I really feel so bored this few days, as the boringness made me so moody. I'm thinking of quitting Maple, but what can I do besides Mapling whole day??? I really can't find other things to replace Maple. Calling buddies out? LOL... I've lost most of my buddies... As they have their own life... I'm trying to change myself, i tried to call them out, but things don't seem like that great as I think. We had nothing to say at all, totally different with last time before graduate. As few months before, I was having some quarrels with them, or should I say... It's just a really small matter? I'm just a very sensitive person. And I once had the thinking of ignoring them, thinking that I can find better friends out there... I was wrong, totally wrong!!! I'm regret of what I've done to myself. As for now, I'm really trying hard to get them back, I've lost everything, every single friends I had.... I really feel wanna cry... regretting of what I've done. Now, what I'm hoping is to gather them all on this coming Friday, to celebrate one of my buddy's birthday, and also try to get my friendships with them back. As for my classmates and lecturer, really sorry because I really didn't expect the trip will cost such a big amount to me. Really sorry and hope you all enjoy your trip...